The Myth of Freedom III, Meditation

"Meditation practice is based on dropping dualistic fixation, dropping the struggle of good against bad." p 44

This would be expanding. To see what there is that is not good or bad would be an opportunity to forgive myself and have more space for other experiences I would like to have.

"Joy here is not pleasurable in the ordinary sense, but it is an ultimate and fundamental sense of freedom, a sense of humor, the ability to see the ironical aspect of the game of the ego, the playing of polarities. If one is able to see ego from an aerial point of view, then one is able to see its humorous quality [...] Rather meditation is a natural process; working on the material of pain and pleasure as the path." p 45

Maybe this is the alternative to denying, killing, or trying to transcend the ego. The third way is the ironical way? The [uneasy(?)] tension of knowing, not hiding, but not following the ego should make space for easiness.

"In the beginning the practice of meditation is just dealing with the basic neurosis of mind, the confused relationship between yourself and projections, your relationship to thoughts. When a person is unable to see the simplicity of the [meditative] technique without any special attitude toward it, then he is able to relate himself with his thought pattern as well [...] a person always finds when he begins to practice meditation that all sorts of problems are brought out. Any hidden aspects of your personality are brought out into the open, for the simple reason that for the first time you are allowing yourself to see your state of mind as it is. For the first time you are not evaluating your thoughts [...] complications become transparent complications rather than solidified ones. So the first step in dealing with ego is to begin with a very simple way of dealing with thoughts [...] Familiar irritations are still there [in awareness practice] of course, but they are simple irritations, transparent irritations [...] One begins to experience a tremendous sense of space because one does not have to watch oneself in such a very heavy-handed way. Rather you are the recipient of the situation." p 46-47

This would feel so good. This would be the way to have a thought without having to embody it. I looked up from reading this and could see Catalina from the train for the first time in all the train trips I've made. When complications are clarified, they become transparent and reveal what they can be used for, which is neither good nor bad. I can think about not wanting to complete a task without having those thoughts make me feel bad or having them lead to my inaction. I can have thoughts of no consequence rather than thoughts that I have to fight against, counteract, or deny.
There aren't any dangerous thoughts. I have the thoughts I have and I do the things I do and they don't have to be aligned before they can be useful to me or released. There are no thoughts I need to get rid of in order to do what I want to do.